Money Moral Dilemma: Keys to Your Business and Personal Prosperity

Have you ever known someone in your life who was so good at lying that they even believed their own stories? When I was younger, I had a quasi-friend who was this way. It never ceased to amaze me how much damage and drama he was able to bring to his own life. Because he believed his own deceptions, he was able to justify nearly anything by blaming the circumstances and consequences on other people, rather than himself.

This might sound way out of the ordinary, but recent experiences prove to me that far too many people have the capacity to lie, damage their lives immensely, and still believe they are the victim; or even worse, convince themselves they are doing the right thing.

Why would they do this? Let's take at look at how susceptible anyone can be to this due to one major aspect of life: finances.

The Money Moral Dilemma

The Money Moral Dilemma's currency is rationalization and justification. This dilemma can be found when scarcity is running the show or when someone is threatened financially.

So, otherwise good people start making bad decisions due to the pressure of making a living or in the name of putting food on the table, or even preserving their current stature or lifestyle. This isn't just when good people do bad things; it's when they do bad things and convince themselves they did the right thing or at least did the wrong thing for the right reasons.

A simple example might be someone who works for a cigarette company in spite of the fact that they know cigarettes are killing people. They simply justify feeding their family as an end that justifies their means. To this person, they are doing nothing wrong ... even though their actions are out of alignment with what they believe if money weren't a part of the equation.

Another example is the small coal-mining town where I grew up. Most of the town works for the coal mines and the economy is based upon those mines continuing to operate. When the government passes new laws to require cleaner air standards, it threatens the mines and the townspeople get scared.

They know clean-air standards are a good thing. Deep down, they understand the damage that is happening to the environment, but they justify not being upset or fighting the system in order to keep their paycheck.

Why don't these people find another job or see the bigger picture? It's all based around fear and uncertainty.

At some point in life, you've probably been in a bad relationship, whether it was a person or business, right? In those types of relationships, people stick around way too long because in spite of the bad situation, it is familiar.

People know what to expect. It's predictable. It is certain and familiar. On the other hand, leaving the relationship would require one to move into unknown territory, and instinctively this scares people into staying.

The Money Moral Dilemma works under the same pretense. In the name of financial stability, people will often lie, cheat and steal in order to preserve their job. They will sacrifice their normal moral compass by justifying that feeding their family supersedes the other ethical codes they normally observe. Now this isn't something they would say out loud or even think through clearly, but let's take a look at our economy to better understand it.

It is impossible for someone to know the truth when their income depends upon a lie. Enron is a perfect example. Those who had the best insight and access, and could have exposed the lie, had no incentive to do so or they would lose their job, lose their income and thus risk feeding their family (or at least that's what they would say).

Let's pause for a minute. What would it really take for someone not to feed their family? If I had zero dollars, I still have relationship capital. I could ask my family to feed me temporarily. I could go to friends, people who I have created value for in the past, or even a shelter. But the worst-case scenario in the mind prevents us from this logic due to the deep level of scarcity and possibility of feeling like a failure, looking like a failure to someone we care about, or letting our family down. The motivators for survival are one of the deepest concerns we have as human beings and create the justification for the wrongdoing.

Justifying Lies

I'm telling you this because I see far too many of our doctors doing this very thing in their lives financially, and I want to help you stop before it catches up with you. I'm talking about justifying not having any sort of basic life, health or disability insurance because you're young, healthy, and won't get disabled or need a death benefit for years ... yet in the back of your mind you know that if you had a catastrophic health issue or passed away tomorrow, your family would be in dire circumstances.

[pb]I'm talking about saying you don't have time to take care of your estate planning because you are busy. Or telling someone ou don't necessarily like that you should do lunch sometime, with no intent of going to lunch.

I'm talking about saying you have a family emergency to get out of a commitment when you don't have the emergency; or taking on a patient/client who isn't the right fit, but you need the money (bad profits). Coming up with any excuse that is a stretch is one of those lies that is a relative to the Money Moral Dilemma.

This is the same sort of justification that gets many investors into trouble. They justify being involved with something they don't understand or believe in so they can (hopefully) make money. They undermine their own moral code for the chance to get ahead and may not ever realize what they've done.

They say things like, "I can use that money for my business after it pays off" or "I can pay off my debt," or some notion of the ends justifying the means. They invest in things that have nothing to do with passion, purpose and knowledge, but the money is too attractive, the return so easy, the people involved so smart.

It is the Money Moral Dilemma that is the white lie. It starts out small, but through desperation or greed, once the first lie has been told and the line has been crossed, it's a downward spiral.

It happens the first time you find yourself justifying a small moral sacrifice. It may continue the first time you have to rob Peter to pay Paul with your real-estate investments because some of them aren't working out. It may sneak into a conversation that turns from accountability to entitlement, leading you to believe something is owed to you or that you owe something to someone else.

This last type of behavior is something I've seen in my own life, and because I don't want you to have to learn the hard way, I'm going to share what happened so you can avoid it in the future.

Where this becomes truly apparent is when you avoid someone to whom you don't want to give bad news. I know people who borrow money, but when they can't pay it back on the timeline agreed to, they make up false excuses or more commonly, avoid the person they borrowed from. This makes the situation worse, the stress more damaging to the borrower, and is extremely harmful to their reputation.

A Personal Example

I had someone file a lawsuit against me. That only came after they filed a lawsuit against the person who did the wrongdoing, only to find out they were bankrupt. So they turned to the government to get the money. They denied the claim. Revisionist history began. They were so focused on getting their money back that extortion became an option. Now, in the Money Moral Dilemma, it is never seen as extortion because of the justification of someone doing wrong and being willing to do whatever it takes to get their money back. (Two wrongs don't make a right.)

I've had some people in my life who helped me through tough times and I've been very grateful to them for it. Unfortunately, a few times I let that gratitude put me in bad situations because I thought I owed them something. Because I felt indebted and wanted to be loyal, I would look the other way if they weren't pulling their share of the load or honoring their word to me.

What I didn't realize was that, rather than them thinking I was returning the loyalty, I was actually training them to take advantage of our relationship. In both cases, it eventually destroyed our relationship and caused a lot of frustration, stress and heartache.

The Money Moral Dilemma is something that is rarely talked about because it's not a pretty subject, but it's important to understand because it does immeasurable damage on a daily basis. It's the subtle lie that can pass as the truth, but isn't, and starts you down a path that is often painful to travel.

How to Overcome the Money Moral Dilemma

So, ask yourself if you've ever made any of the mistakes I've mentioned above. Reflect and see if you've allowed yourself to be taken advantage of out of loyalty, bent your moral code, or had to act in a way that would be deeply embarrassing if others were to find out about it.

To protect yourself from the conditions that tempt the actions of scarcity – to eliminate the risk of the Money Moral Dilemma from your life – I have one very easy-to-understand action: build liquidity.

Create separate savings accounts: one for you personally and one for your business. Allocate money into these accounts on a regular, systematic basis. Build more than enough to handle your business and expenses for months to come. The return will not come in interest on the account, but peace of mind in your life.

We are all human and imperfect, but we also have the ability to grow, change and flourish with the right information and a clear sense of priorities. Be willing to set your pride aside when you've made a mistake or when things are getting out of alignment – especially when it's tough.

Clarity of your values, principles and what is most important in the long run, not just in the moment, will help you maintain integrity when it's tempting to follow the path paved with good intentions, but bad morals.

If you can stay clear and disciplined about your priorities, you'll be able to stand tall, continue to prosper, and sleep well at night knowing that in spite of the opportunities to stray, you've created your wealth on a solid foundation and lasting principles.